Not Like the RomComs
by Angelia Dark
Summary: Inspired by a one-shot CroKat comic (link in the story), most credit for inspiration goes to them. A talk with Cronus in the dream bubble leads to harsh realizations for Karkat, leaving him in a bad place and at a bad advantage to Cronus. Slight AU, angst and slight noncon.


This fic is a more fleshed-out version of a short CroKat comic called Karkat Gets Memed On by punpunichu (punispompouspornpalace on tumblr). All credit for the idea goes to them, slight AU and artistic liberties go to me.

The original comic can be found on (http) : / / imgur (dot com)(slash) a (slash) nGtHB (we srsly need a link button option...)

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Karkat had always had a borderline Caliginous relationship with his past self, primarily over how gogdamn stupid and WRONG he was. So reflecting back on his excitement in meeting his Ancestor to learn from him, alternate universe or not…he wanted to fly back in time and kick his past self in the bulge until he took himself out of any future gene pools forever and ever, A-FUCKING-MEN.

It was barely ten minutes into this thrice-damned dream bubble that he instantly regretted the decision to come here. If he thought HIS session's crew was weird….gog, everyone here were FREAKS, especially the massive disappointment that was his Dancestor.

Kankri Vantas was the walking embodiment of everyone Karkat ever wanted to put a hammer to the brain to online, and he HAD NO OFF SWITCH. Just LECTURE after LECTURE after LECTURE after MINDNUMBLING LECTURE that had Karkat staring with mouth ajar for a full five minutes after he FINALLY stopped talking. It took every ounce of self-restraint to keep from shoving the business ends of his sickles into his ears just to make it STOP.

At LAST, the social justice warrior became distracted by something else, and Karkat wasted no time in making his escape somewhere—ANYWHERE—else.

After that, he figured the rest of this crew would be a much-needed relief. Oh, how wrong he was. ANOTHER imaginary kick to the bulge.

Terezi's Dancestor Latula seemed pretty laid-back and cool…until her 'like, totally gnarly shredding, yo' put him off instantly. He'd known Eridan long enough to know when someone was overcompensating for something, and had to keep from SCREAMING when he found out it was because of her 'handicap'—no sense of smell. For the love of EVERYTHING good and pure—!

Her matesprit Mituna, Sollux's Dancestor was another story altogether, though Karkat couldn't fault him much. Something about brain damage from massive psionics overuse…he felt more pity than aggravation with him, but he still felt aggravated when Mituna's tic outbursts were directed at him, possibly from mistaking him for Kankri, but still, it was AGGRIVATING.

Aradia, Tavros, and Equius' Dancestors didn't quite sit well with him either, being too odd for him to even try to get close to. Gog, especially Horuss, he just got the creeps being in the vicinity of him.

None of them held a candle to Gamzee's Dancestor though. If Kurloz's appearance alone didn't give Karkat enough reason to have nightmares for a week, it was the fact that every time he was within spitting distance of the guy, Karkat would feel a coldness rush up his spine, and he SWORE he heard demonic laughter in his head. The smile that splayed across those stitched lips let Karkat know that he probably wasn't crazy for thinking it.

Nepeta's Dancestor seemed normal enough, but Meulin seemed eerily attached to Kurloz, almost to the point of disturbing.

Vriska's Dancestor was, thankfully, almost normal, but Aranea was almost too nice and boring to really talk to. Her awkward off-topic ramblings grated on Karkat's nerves, and it became irrelevant to how nice she was.

Kanaya's Dancestor Porrim was nice enough, similar to Kanaya even, but her flirtatious personality really put him in a weird state…similar to…ugh, what did Dave call it? 'Oedipus Complex'? Something like that. Ew.

Really, the only one Karkat could get on the same level with was Meenah, who was—thankfully—the closest match to his own world's personality type that he found in this place. She was easy to talk to, and didn't baulk at his world's violent tendencies and customs at all. But she was pretty hard to find, always hopping from place to place for 'recruitment'.

When he wasn't talking to Meenah, Karkat mostly stayed in his dream-respiteblock, almost for fear of running into anyone else, as stupid as that sounded. But that got boring REALLY quickly, and in any case, he was here to learn.

So here he was, walking around outside, trying to make himself look as off-putting and antisocial as possible to avoid confrontation, worrying over this session and everything that happened, was going to happen, and what might happen when—

"Whoa there, kiddo, almost ran me right over."

Oh BALLS. HIM. Eridan's Dancestor, Cronus.

Standing nowhere near the tallest, but as easily the broadest, Cronus grinned down at Karkat, looking almost amused, clenching that stupid shard of wand between his teeth like an unlit cigarette. Karkat scowled, glowering up at him, still having not really recovered from the LAST time he was around him.

He didn't think anyone could be more woe-is-me about Quadrants than Eridan, but gogdamn, was he wrong. Every conversation Karkat overheard from this guy was about how NOBODY liked him, NOBODY gave him a chance, how EVERYONE always rejected him for WHATEVER reason and blah-blah-blah-blah-BLAH. It was made even worse by this annoying, grating accent that sounded like a rip-off of a John Trollvolta movie.

And here the king douchefin was, blocking his way and looking amused for it.

"You're in my way," Karkat growled, putting venom into his glare. Cronus merely arched a brow, not phased in the least.

"Then by all means, Daddy-O," he said, stepping to the side, "keep going. Just passing by myself." He grinned, his sharklike teeth glinting in the light. "Didn't mean to disturb your dark musings."

Karkat exercised great effort in keeping his middle fingers in his pockets, glowering harder, keeping his jaw clenched tightly to keep from telling him off. Though the idea WAS very enticing and WOULD make him feel better…

"Some shitpile of a session you got, isn't it?"

Karkat's head shot up, the glower snapping into a surprised stare as the empathetic tone he heard was accompanied by an almost empathetic look. In a rare moment, he was at a loss for words. He hadn't had much in the way of the empathy department from this place.

Cronus shoved his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, mirroring Karkat's own stance. "It's why you're here, right? For guidance or some shit like that in not dying prematurely in all this."

Again, inability to come up with an answer. Karkat became aware that the respectable amount of time to answer had come and gone, so he went with the Default.

"Fuck you." Good. Great. Brilliant. Save face and walk it off, Vantas. He walked on, trying not to break into an awkward run, only to feel the embarrassment of Cronus following him. Before he could go with Default II, Cronus spoke again.

"I get it, you know," he said, his longer legs easily keeping pace with Karkat. "I was a part of the game too. I know how it is. And it's nothing but bullshit." Silence for a few moments. "….Most everyone lives here, trying to forget it ever happened, so if they're less than helpful, keep that in mind."

Karkat remained silent, chewing his lip. He…honestly hadn't thought of that. Pretty much only Meenah had been up-front and talkative about the matter at hand. Well, and now Cronus, of all people…

He paused when Cronus shifted up a pace faster and stopped in front of Karkat again, holding out his hand. "Pretty sure the first impression was kind of a drag, so…..Cronus Ampora."

Karkat flicked his eyes between Cronus and the offered hand, wondering if this was a joke. It didn't seem to be…Cronus appeared to be entirely sincere. He took a breath and sighed it out, taking Cronus' hand. "…Karkat Vantas," he replied with a little less enthusiasm.

Cronus didn't seem to mind or care, giving Karkat's hand a surprisingly tight squeeze and shaking it briefly before letting go. "Cool," he said, glancing around for a moment at the empty area. "…If you're looking for Meenah, she's blown off somewhere, and probably won't be back for a long while. She might've even gone back to her palace on the moon." He gestured upward with his cigarette.

Karkat shrugged a little, a flicker of disappointment crossing his face, letting Cronus know that was what had been on Karkat's mind. Cronus slipped the cigarette back between his teeth and gave Karkat's arm a slight nudge.

"Look, if you wanna talk, my hive is right over there," he said, jerking his head in the direction indicated. "Unlike OUR Vantas, I won't bore your horns off, swear on my vinyls."

…Well that was unexpectedly hospitable. Again Karkat searched Cronus' face for any signs of trickery, and instead saw matter-of-fact sincerity. And gog, did he have a lot on his chest, to be perfectly honest…

"….sure," he said. "Why not?"

Cronus grinned and turned on heel, heading back down the path with Karkat in tow.

As they walked, Karkat gave Cronus another once-over for curiosity's sake. Cronus wasn't the tallest by far, but he had a built physique that Karkat swore rivaled Equius', something he wasn't entirely sure most Sea-Dwellers would have without conscious training to have it. As far as aesthetics went, Cronus' weren't bad at all. He was leagues ahead of most of the other males, especially without any sort of facial adornments or painting.

So it was probably attitude alone that kept him from filling his Quadrants. Kind of a waste, to be honest.

Karkat looked up from his musings when Cronus stepped in front of a smaller hive and opened the door, stepping inside and holding the door for Karkat, who paused for just a moment before heading in after him

The inside of his hive was oddly-furnished, most of the furniture being leather or chrome with a few vinyl records framed on the walls. A large stereo in the corner had a few open cassette and record cases stacked on it, but no music was playing at the moment. Cronus gestured to the couch as he hung up his jacket.

"Make yourself at home," he said, heading to another door. "You want some coffee?"

"….sure," Karkat replied, sitting down on the couch, taking more glances around the place as though making triple-sure there were no nasty surprises anywhere, though he could find no reason why there would be any. Feeling slightly daring, he leaned back against the couch, letting out a barely-audible sigh as he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax a little.

Cronus' presence made him open his eyes in time to see a mug of hot coffee being handed to him, Cronus' expression almost amused. Karkat sat up and took the mug, sipping it and feeling a heavy weight of gratitude as the hot bitter drink slid down his throat, furthering the feeling of comfort in this place.

His host sat down on the other end of the couch, reclining back with homey familiarity, sipping from his own cup, taking a moment of comfortable silence before speaking up. "So," he said, smiling at Karkat, "I can see you're already different than the wet rag of an asspull our Vantas is." His smile broadened, having already seen Karkat's expression at meeting his Dancestor. "So tell me about yourself."

Karkat didn't know what had really happened to make sharing a few simple points about himself to going off into the details of his life, but the faucet had been turned on and there was no stopping it. He found himself spilling everything, from his past to just yesterday, no stone being left unturned. Even when he thought he was talking too much, Cronus' unfaltering eye contact and nods of encouragement kept him going.

Finally, his story began to wind down, and by that time, his coffee was cold. "….and that's basically how we got to this point in this big clusterfuck of a session." He finished off his cold coffee, noting that Cronus hadn't picked his mug up for a long time, probably having finished it about an hour ago. "….Thanks. For listening. I used to talk to our Ampora, you know, so this was…nice." _Gog, that sounded stupid…_

Cronus just smiled. "Hey, don't mention it," he replied. "It's just what I do!"

Karkat found himself smiling. Eridan would NEVER have let him talk that long without interjecting about what was going on with HIS life. "Maybe I judged you too…" He frowned, noticing now that at some point, Cronus' hand had reached over and was squeezing his shoulder. He jerked back on reflex and slapped the offending hand off of him. "WHOA!" he cried, "FLIPPERS OFF!"

"Ouch—" Cronus rubbed his hand, giving Karkat a bewildered and hurt look. "J-jeeze, way to be harsh! I was just trying to comfort you." He sighed, shaking his head. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised. At this point I should probably be used to being rejected every time I'm trying my best to be supportive." He took the cigarette out of his mouth and glanced upward almost pensively. "My bad for expecting a little reciprocation for listening to you go on and on about how hard it was on YOU when you fucked everything up for your friends."

Karkat looked up from his defensive little ball of fuming, scowling. "Wh-what are you talking about?" he said, offended.

Cronus contemplated his cigarette casually. "You see, I didn't want to interrupt you while you were very busy wallowing in self-pity…but it's true, isn't it?" He glanced sideways over at Karkat, his eyes surprisingly sharp.

"That's why they're all tired of you."

Karkat felt a start of coldness jolt up his spine, and he didn't know if it was for that matter-of-fact comment, or the fact that Cronus' odd accent had dropped, making his words have THAT much more impact than they already did.

"It's funny if you think about it..." Cronus continued, casually flipping his cigarette between his long fingers, "…for all that you kept going on about how much you hate your past self, it sure seems like you didn't change much at all. Aren't you just avoiding responsibility? You know. For being a complete and utter failure as a leader?"

Karkat could feel his body going cold as Cronus' words seeped into his brain, something Cronus seemed to not notice, or not care for.

"But honestly," Cronus went on, his inflection going from matter-of-fact to almost sympathetic amusement. "…the one I really feel sorry for is your group's Pyrope." He snorted softly. "It's amazing she's putting up with you still pathetically slobbering all over her like a clingy little barkbeast. Guess you just can't take a h—"

Karkat jerked up, grabbing the front of Cronus' shirt, snarling. "HEY, FINFUCK!" he growled, tightening his other hand into a fist with barely-contained rage. "What would YOU know?!" Any further rant was silenced when Cronus clasped his hand around Karkat's wrist with surprising strength.

"Uh, I'm sure I would know what you just whined about in excruciating detail?" Cronus almost mocked back, then scowled, jerking Karkat's arm in. "Hey, you should be proud of her! Unlike a CERTAIN other Pyrope, she's smart enough to know she can do much better than a pitiful farce of a relationship with a foul-mouthed, selfish little prick who's got nothing to offer her." He let go of Karkat's arm.

"I mean, considering you failed at being a good moirail, let alone at just being a decent friend…" He shrugged. "Isn't that also why the only person who has ever been Flushed for you is dead?"

Karkat stared blankly at his hand, shaking softly as Cronus' words hit home, and hit where it hurt the most. Every wounded fear he thought irrational was being torn wide open, and it HURT. It really HURT…!

Cronus bit down on his cigarette, patting Karkat on the back as though that would soften the blow of his words. "Let's face facts, I was doing you a favor here," he said, his voice picking his accent back up as he gave Karkat's shoulder a soft squeeze. "You should be grateful anyone would want to be around you at all..."

Karkat could feel tears well up in his eyes, and to his shame and horror, they wouldn't stop. He couldn't even bring himself to pull away from Cronus because FUCK, he was RIGHT, he was LUCKY even someone like Cronus wanted to even be in his presence…!

He found himself being gently shoved onto his back on the couch, Cronus' strong hand keeping him pinned, not that he had any inclination to ever move again.

"Sorry kiddo," Cronus said, his hand brushing underneath Karkat's shirt as he watched Karkat cover his face with his arm and cry into his sleeve. "Things are never gonna be like in your romcoms."

Karkat just cried harder, biting his lip hard to stifle the sobs that threatened to burst from his throat, doing nothing to stop Cronus. He felt so disgustingly pathetic, lower than a slitherbeast in the dirt. He just wanted to shrivel up and d—oh FUCK—!

Cronus glanced up at Karkat when he felt the younger troll gasp and arch up from his kissing the smooth skin of his abdomen, having pushed Karkat's shirt up to get better access for his stroking. He didn't know if it was maybe a side-effect of Karkat's blood mutation or just a unique trait, but Karkat's skin was smooth as spider-lusus silk and just BEGGED to be kissed.

Karkat was staring down at him, his eyes red from his tears, looking shocked that Cronus was doing something like this and looked to make a move to sit up. Cronus growled softly in almost a warning and kept eye contact as he kissed and licked over Karkat's abdomen, seeing a flush of red spread over the younger troll's face.

He kissed lower, finding a sensitive patch of skin just above the hem of Karkat's pants and sucked softly over that area, watching Karkat's face. Karkat flushed harder, covering his face with his arms, shaking softly. Cronus sucked the patch of skin harder, growling softly when he felt a slight squirming against his chest from Karkat's pants.

Karkat's breath hitched, biting into the sleeve of his shirt when he felt the squirming, feeling like he could just DIE of humiliation, the fact that he couldn't even bring himself to shove Cronus off of him and bolt making it even worse. While his foremost thoughts were screaming bloody murder to END THIS AND END THIS NOW, soft thoughts from the back of his mind that he always used to ignore began wailing for MORE. Of all the gogdamn times for THAT—

Strong hands grabbing his arms and pinning them over his head snapped him out of those thoughts, and found himself staring up at Cronus' face, his previous musings of the older troll being aesthetically pleasing returning with a vengeance. Cronus was staring down at him almost domineeringly, guttural growling vibrating through his chest, his milky-dead eyes almost glowing with pure lust.

It was that image that made Karkat suddenly aware of the heaviness pressing against his squirming bulge, and a secondary squirming that almost mirrored his own. He opened his mouth to protest—cry for help—encourage?—SOMETHING—when Cronus's own mouth crushed against his, quelling anything that would have come out.

Karkat yelped into Cronus' mouth, jerking at his arms fruitlessly, his thoughts turning to static as Cronus slipped his tongue into his mouth and tightened the grip on his arms. He absently tasted the coffee from earlier on Cronus' tongue; smooth, dark, and bitter. _Just like him…_

Rhythmic grinding putting pressure on his bulge made Karkat arch up into Cronus, eliciting a loud moan he couldn't contain. Cronus' tongue curled around his, as though it could squeeze out another moan, and it wasn't disappointed. Karkat dug his heels into the couch as leverage to jerk his hips up, shuddering when he could feel the rumbling of Cronus' chest-deep growls vibrate into his own chest.

Karkat's mind was all white noise, letting his body run on auto-pilot, not even those loud front-row thoughts getting messages through. All he wanted was more, more kissing, more grinding, more FEELING…!

Cronus nipped his lip hard, nuzzling at Karkat's face and pausing when he felt wetness. He sat up slightly, halting his movements when he saw that despite Karkat's writhing underneath him, the younger troll was crying uncontrollably, pale red tears cascading over his red-flushed cheeks, his eyes glassy and empty.

Karkat became vaguely aware that the FEELINGS had stopped, his high coming crashing down as his eyes refocused, looking up at Cronus. Despite the violet-flushed face and heavy breath, Cronus' expression was guilty and doubtful, and a very loud, very awkward silence rang between them for what seemed like forever.

Cronus let go of Karkat's wrists and sat up, shoving his cigarette into his mouth and clenching his teeth around it almost hard enough to break it, sitting there for an uncomfortable, long moment, running his shaking hand through his hair. Karkat stayed where he was, staring up at the ceiling, his brain now registering what had just happened, and was trying to work his way through the shock.

A sharp squirming in his pants made him twitch and bite back a hiss, as well as the utter horror of having his body practically punish him for not 'finishing' anything, making him turn bright red and curl up tightly on the couch, his face flush with the back of the couch as though balling up in this little corner of Hell would make everything go away.

Cronus quietly observed Karkat curl up into a little shaking ball, his teeth grinding into the cigarette harder and his hands clenching and unclenching as though wondering what to do with them. After a long moment, he stood up and walked out of the living room.

Karkat remained motionless until he heard a door shut somewhere else in the hive, and then he could no longer contain himself; he began sobbing, his hands pressing against his mouth tightly so only the barest of sounds were heard, fresh tears flowing down his red-stained face. It only made things worse when he couldn't even figure out WHY he was crying. The revelation of what a failure he was? Almost being sexually dominated by Cronus? Actually LIKING it? Who fucking knows?!

When he finally calmed enough to form coherent thoughts, Karkat first felt righteous anger at his naiveté. No fucking WONDER Cronos didn't have a Quadrant to his name, if THAT was how he really was. Making someone feel so comforted and at home and then jerking all sense of self-worth out from under them and doing…THAT…!

 _But he stopped_.

He had stopped, and Karkat saw guilt and shame. Interestingly enough, Karkat didn't think those were expressions that crossed Cronos' face often. Those weren't expressions Karkat could recall coming across his own face, but that was because he never saw any reason why he had to be…

The conversation with Cronus came back full force, with the same cold sharpness creeping over his spine and into his heart. THOSE were reasons to feel guilt and shame. And they weren't bullshit reasons either. They were real, harsh, painful truths.

Karkat buried his face in his hands. Gog, fuck, shit, he really WAS a foul-mouthed, selfish little prick who had nothing to offer ANYONE. Not Eridan, not Gamzee, especially not Terezi…he was as much a piece of shit as his past self. He never fucking learned, EVER! Fuck, if CRONUS was a piece of shit, then what did that make HIM?

…..just like him.

A piece of shit bastard with all the right talk and none of the gogdamn sense to make it in any Quadrant, feeling too entitled to something to see who he was hurting and neglecting.

But still, why did he stop? Karkat didn't think Cronus would be the type to care once things got going, and doubted he'd suddenly grow a conscience out of nowhere. But that expression of guilt, doubt, and….there was something else there. Something that would MAKE him feel guilty and doubtful. Like something that made KARKAT feel that sting of guilt and doubt about everything he'd ever lived up to.

Karkat stayed curled up, overthinking to the point of numbness until a soft outside sound broke through his musings. He blinked hard, scrubbing the dried tear tracks from his face and rubbed his eyes, sitting up, and pausing when a blanket slid off of his shoulders.

He didn't even notice that blanket being put on him. Cronus must have put it on him some time ago, thinking he was asleep. He flexed his fingers into the blanket for a few moments, absently wondering just how long and how far he was out for.

He was brought back into the present by hearing something again, looking through the dark hive and spotting a dim light from the hallway. He pushed the blanket aside and padded down the hall, recognizing the sound now as music, pretty strange and sort of shitty music…to him, anyway. It was coming from a room with a slightly-ajar door, and Karkat slid up quietly, peeking inside.

Cronus' respiteblock was littered with balled-up pieces of notebook paper, along with an overflowing wastebasket also full of them, which Karkat supposed were rejected lyrics to go with the music Cronus mentioned he made. Instead of a recuperacoon, there was instead a small bed that was made up neatly like it was rarely used. There was an electric keyboard, a guitar, and a synth machine in one corner, and a small desk covered in notebooks in another, with a small desk lamp creating the dim light in the room.

Sitting at the desk was Cronus, whose cigarette was, interestingly, lit on the tip and emitting smoke, but remaining the same size, the fumes from the smoke relaxing and almost euphoric. He had Ahab's Crosshairs settled on his lap with a small hatch open, tweaking into it with a small tool, his head bobbing minutely to the music that was playing, like he was only half-listening and in another world entirely.

Karkat watched Cronus quietly, unmoving. It was almost surreal, seeing such a contradictory person in such a plebeian task, something that ALMOST made Karkat think of Eridan, who would also spend great deals of time working on Ahab's Crosshairs, even when it was not needed. But Karkat never saw such an at-home, emotionally defeated look on Eridan's face, ever.

Karkat sort of GOT why Eridan had issues with Quadrants…he was a pretty unlikable person, easily jealous and envious, who took things WAY too personally and overreacted to the extreme. But what was Cronus' deal?

Self-entitled, arrogant, selfish, clingy—

….oh…..

Any bit of superiority Karkat felt was squashed immediately when he realized he was describing HIMSELF.

Oh gog….was that it? Was that why Cronus stopped? Because he saw _himself_?

Karkat never felt more alone than he did now…and he couldn't imagine feeling like this at nine sweeps old, or older, especially if he had the luxury of having Quadrants as a just-because, and not as a means of survival.

Without really knowing what he was doing or where he was going with this, he walked inside.

Cronus had just closed the hatch of Ahab's Crosshairs and was about to put it back on the hooks when he heard his door creek open, looking up to see Karkat walk in, his expression oddly blank. Anything to say—anything at all—that would take the awkwardness out of this entire situation drew a blank, and he just sat there, having a stare-off with Karkat.

Awkward silence turned unbearable.

"….Kiddo—"

Karkat reached out and grabbed the front of Cronus' shirt with both hands, jerking him forward, crashing his mouth against the older troll's, his sharp teeth cutting into Cronus' lip. The drawing of blood snapped Cronus out of any shock he had, curling his arms around Karkat and pulling him flush against him.

Those obnoxiously loud frontal thoughts of Karkat's were screaming bloody murder, mostly consisting of WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK ARE YOU DOING!?, but he didn't care. Karkat's Give-A-Fuck switch was turned off, and it was staying off. He pushed himself closer to Cronus, their kiss a mess of tongue, teeth, and blood as lips were bitten, sliding dangerously Caliginous in nature.

Cronus grabbed Karkat under the backside and hoisted him up as he stood, wrapping Karkat's legs around his waist as he made his way to the bed, practically dropping them both right on it, straddling Karkat's hips, all the while not breaking their kiss. Karkat squirmed under him, growling loudly, his claws digging into Cronus' shoulders.

The growling only egged Cronus on, grabbing the bottom of Karkat's shirt and tugging it up, breaking the kiss to pull it off and toss it to the floor. Karkat dropped back onto the bed, his face and chest flushed and heaving slightly as he caught his breath. Cronus stared down at him for half a moment, as though briefly debating if he should go on.

Karkat growled again, rolling his hips upward, his expression screaming 'KEEP GOING OR I'LL CLAW YOUR GILLS OUT', which proved to be incentive enough. Cronus tugged his own shirt off to join Karkat's on the floor, reaching down to undo Karkat's pants.

Even to someone whose species didn't rely on aesthetics in terms of Romancing, Karkat couldn't help but focus on Cronus' well-muscled physique, doubting most Sea-Dwellers looked like that by nature. He was completely right in thinking Cronus had a body to rival Equius' own, only it was BETTER. Karkat noticed that Cronus had violet-colored gills that lined his ribcage that matched the ones on his neck, perfectly framing his body.

His observations were interrupted when Cronus pulled his pants off in one tug to have them be tossed to the floor, leaving him completely exposed. It barely registered in his head before Cronus was kneeling between his legs, not even giving him a chance to become self-conscious or embarrassed before having over half his bulge engulfed by Cronus' mouth.

Karkat arched clean off the bed, unable to form any kind of coherent noise as the shock of pleasure that tore its way up his spine. He could barely register that Cronus had even DONE that! Even in the most sordid of his RedRom novels, mouthing the bulge was reserved for only the most Flushed of pairs, where trust was key—and Cronus had just DONE it like it was NOTHING.

And whatever exactly he was doing, he was doing it right. Karkat threw any rom preconceptions out the window, just as Cronus said he should, and thrashed around on the bed, his hands clenching into the sheets as Cronus sucked on his bulge, feeling the older troll's tongue curl and flex around it with expertly-done technique that almost had Karkat screaming.

Cronus, purred loudly, shifting Karkat's legs over his shoulders and ducking his head lower, working his mouth as best he could, WANTING Karkat to scream. He paid no mind to Karkat's legs clenching around his head, staring at the younger troll's face, mentally willing him to LOOK.

And look Karkat did. He dared to glance down just to get a visual of what Cronus was doing, and was instantly pinned by Cronus' eyes staring into his own, feeling a jolt run through him when he saw Cronus' eyes GLOWING in the dimness of the room. Cronus made sure Karkat was looking before pushing his head lower, swallowing Karkat hard.

Karkat threw his head back onto the pillow, his lower half arching hard as he gushed down Cronus' throat, a short but shrill scream escaping from his own, his body locking up from the onslaught on ecstasy that was running up and down his spine.

Cronus had to physically part Karkat's legs from crushing his head in that vice-like clench, swallowing hard before sitting up, looking down at the shaking mess Karkat was just from a bulgesucking, feeling his own bulge squirm against the tightness of his pants, growling loudly as he undid them impatiently and kicked them off, crawling over Karkat's body.

Karkat writhed around on the bed, his body working through the aftershocks, shuddering when he felt Cronus crawl up on him and turn his face upward for a kiss. His initial thought was _'WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT FIRST FOR THE LOVE OF—'_ but that was quelled when he felt Cronus' own—much larger—bulge curl around his, and Cronus kissing him right after swallowing was not even an issue anymore.

Cronus growled into Karkat's mouth, flexing his bulge tightly around Karkat's, swallowing down the whimpers and moans that came from the younger troll. He brushed his clawtips over Karkat's skin, feeling him shudder and twitch, kissing him harder as he trailed his hands up Karkat's arms and laced his fingers with Karkat's tightly.

Having his bulge teased like this was almost too much for Karkat. He bucked his hips up hard, growling and keening into Cronus' mouth, trying to convey he wanted MORE without actually having to SAY it.

Cronus nipped Karkat's lip, kissing and lightly biting over his jaw and neck, growling. "Say it," he hissed into Karkat's ear, feeling the younger troll's breath hitch in his chest, giving extra incentive by squeezing his bulge around Karkat's.

Karkat arched his hips again, biting his lip to keep from moaning louder than he wanted, his body shaking hard. Gog, he WANTED to say it, that he wanted Cronus to shove his bulge into his nook and pail the daylights out of him until he gushed so hard his Ancestor would feel it. The little rationale he had left kept him from actually conveying that entire message, and he instead clenched his eyes shut and nodded minutely.

"Yes."

That was all Cronus needed.

Karkat kept his eyes shut tightly, covering his face with his arm, shaking as he felt Cronus sit up and part his thighs, feeling a hot wetness squirm against his nook opening. Before he could blurt out a change of mind—

Wetness and heat. That was all he felt as his hips arched right off the bed, his voice cracking hard, unable to even scream properly as he felt Cronus' bulge fill him with squirming heat that warmed his entire body twice over.

Cronus clenched his teeth tightly, one hand's claws digging into Karkat's hip while the other reached over and turned the volume of his radio up, then leaned down over Karkat again, his loud growling vibrating into Karkat's chest, his bulge squirming and churning inside of Karkat.

Karkat dug his heels into the bed, bucking his hips up hard, his moaning and keening being drowned out by the music. His own bulge thrashed between their bodies, mirroring the writhing he was doing under Cronos. Cronus growled louder, pinning Karkat's wrists above his head, then began rolling his hips fast, something not necessarily needed for troll coupling, but something he found he just couldn't do without anymore. Any kind of extra stimulation was just fine in his book.

Karkat wasn't complaining either, as the excess stimulation had him screaming and yowling like a meowbeast in heat, thrashing under Cronus and curling his legs around Cronus' waist to pull him closer. _'MORE'_ was all his brain was screaming. Nothing else but THIS, not another gogdamn fucking thing mattered but THIS—

He arched up hard as he gushed again, his legs almost crushing Cronus tightly to him, his en-orgasmic screaming almost garbled and weak, feeling his hot gush spurt both between their bodies and from his nook before collapsing back, shaking violently.

Cronus didn't even pause his thrusting and squirming, groaning loudly when he felt a rush of hot wetness envelop him. He pressed his body closer to Karkat's, grinding against him hard.

Karkat wrapped his shaking arms around Cronus' torso, primarily for something to hang onto, as he felt like the room was spinning violently out of control. He buried his face into Cronus' shoulder, absently noticing that he didn't even hear the music anymore. All he could hear was Cronus' growling and grunting, feeling the puff of warm air on his face from Cronus' neck gills, and the flittering of the chest gills against his arms.

FEELING.

It was the FEELINGS again, and he lost himself inside them, panting hard and digging his claws into Cronus' back only to drag them across violently as he gushed again, biting down on Cronus' shoulder hard.

The painful sensation of Karkat's teeth and claws was what tipped Cronus over the edge, forcing himself out of Karkat's nook in time to gush between them, letting out a loud, shrill roar unique to Sea-Dwellers that had been known to intimidate unknowing Land-Dwellers. Karkat's only reaction was to cling to Cronus tighter despite being close to passing right out.

Cronus settled down from his euphoric high, panting hard, burying his face in Karkat's sweat-dampened hair, waiting until his orgasm was over before sitting up and rolling over onto his back, his skin glistening with sweat.

Karkat remained where he was, struggling to catch his breath and process what had just happened. He raised a shaking hand to his face and touched it, as though to remind himself that this was real and it just happened.

Pailing without a Quadrant. To him, a taboo of the highest tier. He glanced over at Cronus almost warily, seeing that the older troll had found his cigarette and had the end burning, taking a long hard drag and exhaling through his gills. He watched, silent, until Cronus' eyes shifted to lock onto his in another awkward silence.

Feeling a rush of shame and self-consciousness, Karkat made a move to get out of the bed when he felt Cronus' strong hands gently grab him and pull him over so Karkat's head was lying on his chest. Karkat blinked, unsure of what exactly this was, until he felt Cronus' hand pap at his head gently, scritching over his scalp with his claws.

A soft, gentle purring rumble from Cronus' chest seemed to soothe Karkat's anxiety, and he felt his body give into the exhaustion, closing his eyes and enjoying the purring and the head-scritches.

Cronus absently petted Karkat's head, taking several more long drags of his cigarette as he stared at the ceiling as though he himself was unsure of what the hell just happened. But as he glanced down at the peacefully-sleeping Karkat, he thought _'the hell vwith it'_ and put the cigarette down, closing his eyes for some peaceful sleep of his own.

* * *

Karkat blinked awake hours later in blissful silence, feeling incredibly comfortable where he was lying. He did a few test stretches, enjoying the feeling of the soft sheets against his skin before freezing.

' _Oh please sweet merciful denizen, please say I didn't…'_

He had.

Shit.

Karkat sat up, bracing himself to face Cronus, but frowned when he saw that he was alone in the room. None of Cronus' clothing was to be seen. A tight noose of hurt began to clench around Karkat's heart when his nose twitched, smelling something rich and bitter. He looked over at the bedside table and saw a steaming cup of coffee with his clothing folded neatly next to it, a slip of paper weighted down under the mug.

He stared at the odd assortment for a few moments as though weighing his options, then reached over and grabbed the mug, holding it in his hands and enjoying the warmth it gave off. He sat in silence, sipping slowly and using the stillness of the room to contemplate his thoughts.

The bulk of his thoughts went over yesterday in almost excruciating detail, everything from that disastrous conversation to the intense pailing, his emotions running the gamut from hot to cold fast enough to make his stomach turn.

Gog, even now he didn't know why he had initiated it. He was just thinking about Cronus and his similarities, feeling shitty and worthless and just NEEDING someone, looking at Cronus and thinking maybe the older troll needed someone too…

A mutual need; a need to just HAVE someone, Quadrants be damned.

Karkat flexed his hands around the hot mug, staring down at his rippling reflection, feeling that the image was a proper metaphor for his thoughts and feelings at the moment; muddy and unclear. Much like Cronus' intentions.

If Cronus just got Karkat into bed like he wanted, then Karkat doubted he would have taken the care to hold him after, tuck him in, fold his clothes and leave hot coffee for him. But why even this? Cronus didn't seem to care all that much, taking advantage of him after emotionally breaking him, for a short while, at least.

So what was Karkat's excuse?

Karkat sighed heavily, taking a deep drink from the cup as though the coffee would give him some clarity. Fat chance. He leaned back against the wall, chewing his lip thoughtfully before remembering the sheet of paper that had been under the mug, reaching over and picking it up.

Much like the persona he put on, Cronus' handwriting was smooth, yet forced into a form that somewhat resembled neatness when Karkat would definitely peg him as a messy, hasty writer.

 _Karkiddo—_

 _Whether or not you think last night was a mistake, I just wanted to straighten a few things out. I don't apologize for it. I don't even apologize for saying what I did before. Those were things you needed to hear, and I don't care if I sound like a dickwad for making it known. Call me a hypocrite, but I call them as I see them._

 _But what I saw most was how much I saw myself in you, and I will be the first to say that being me sucks so much, I can't stand it sometimes. You have a lot of good qualities about you, kiddo, and it would be a real shit of a waste to let you turn out like me. I gave up on trying to change myself long ago, but it's not too late for you. I take my companionship where I can get it, and I don't give a shit where it comes from half the time, and god damn it, it's no way to live._

 _You have a chance at having your choice of Quadrants filled with whoever you want, but from one selfish fuck to another, you have to be better. Give something to offer them, to make it worth the while of having you._

 _I enjoyed last night, but we both know it won't happen again._

 _Cronus_

 _PS: The mug is self-heating and keeps drinks hot for hours. You can keep it._

Karkat stared at the letter, marveling at the straight-forward simplicity of it. To be honest, it would totally be something he would write himself, albeit with a bit more creative and colorful words. None of that self-indulgent, flowery bullshit he would have expected.

He reread the last line a few times, trying to figure out what exactly it meant. He didn't know how long he was going to be here—not to say he would actually DO it again—but still, was it Cronus saying he wouldn't WANT to, or…?

Ugh, shit, his head was hurting.

Karkat ran a hand down his face before finishing off the coffee. He was thinking too much into it. Of COURSE they wouldn't be doing it again.

He eased himself out of the bed, his face going bright red when he felt a dull throbbing in his nook area, shakily tugging his clothes on and stood there wondering what to do now. When the empty room provided him with no answers, he headed out.

The rest of the respiteblock was empty, and Karkat figured Cronus had gone out. Momentary wishful thinking had him poke his head into the kitchen.

…..bastard hadn't even left him extra coffee.

* * *

Sitting back in his own dream-bubbled respiteblock was a comforting familiarity….save for the fact that there was no coffee machine and at the moment he didn't have the willpower to pop one into existence. Could he even do that? Shit, he didn't know anymore.

Taking a break from his solitary thinking, he dug around in his hidden stash of junk food, something that he always recalled having, and found a can of soda, cracking it open and, as a secondary thought, poured it directly into the mug.

Heated soda, he mused, sipping it. Not bad. Might make it a trend someday.

He sat down at his desk, absently sipping from the mug, happening to glance to the side and see the note Cronus left for him. He nursed the rim of the mug thoughtfully, wondering why he had bothered to bring it with him, and then sighed when he remembered. It was that last line.

Why was he even THINKING about doing it again? Of course it wouldn't happen again! Would it? He'd been here for a good long while…..and the pailing WAS good….very good….almost what he would imagine being in the Flushed or Caliginous Quadrant would be…

Karkat groaned, putting the mug down, massaging his sore temples. Oh no. He did NOT just think that. No, no, no, no, no! He was NOT feeling those things for him! He COULDN'T—!

….he didn't.

He frowned, sitting back in his chair. He didn't feel Red or BlackRom about Cronus in the slightest. His earlier thoughts were right…..it was just a NEED that he fulfilled…an itch he scratched. He didn't feel the need to spend the rest of his life with him…and he certainly didn't hate him enough to slap a Spades on it.

Karkat sipped his soda again, pensive. Huh. Maybe that was why Cronus wrote that line. He already knew it was just a singular need to fulfill…and he just wanted to make sure Karkat would know that too.

Draining the rest of the warm soda from the mug, Karkat wondered how many singular needs Cronus met without filling a single Quadrant. It was fucking SAD. And Cronus was right. It wasn't a life Karkat ever wanted to live.

He had decided to be selfish last night with Cronus, but it was a selfishness he refused to indulge in ever again.

Karkat sat up, his expression resolute and firm. It was time for changes, and to move on to become better. He headed to his recuperacoon and slipped in, closing his eyes and waiting for his time to wake up, leaving Cronus's note on the table with the cup on top.


End file.
